Preggie?

Well, I think baby #2 might be due next March/April. Last month's period was very light, almost just spotting. And this month's is late. Plus I have several symptoms that I had with my first child. I took an at home pregnancy test, a fancy digital one even, but it said not pregnant. However, baby #1 was also not pregnant with an at home test, but positive with one done at the doctor's office 2 weeks later. So for now, I guess I just have to wait and see. If no period has started by my daughter's WIC appointment later this month, I'll see if they can test me.

Selerines World: Love : Is it wrong???? Ohhh my God!!!!!

Selerines World: Love : Is it wrong???? Ohhh my God!!!!!

Good points, alot to ponder and help remind me that I need to look outside my own problems and be thankful that I can love anyone I wish to in my country.

Worries

I can't help it. How can I not worry, when I'm taking my 1 yr old daughter, and moving into a known pedophile's house. Even if he *is* her grandpa.. he did it to his own children, if that didn't stop him, why would my baby girl be safe? His home was my last resort, my last choice of places to move. And relatives have warned me repeatedly not to do it, but they don't have anything to offer in return, no other suggestions or ideas. If I keep a sharp, mama wolf eye on her, it has to be better than bouncing from shelter to shelter, doesn't it?

Anxiety

I'm so nervous about this upcoming move. We're downsizing to a smaller place, which is sort of good, it makes me get rid of unnecessary items/clothing that I don't need anymore. I have far too much stuff as it is, so paring down will be good. But there are factors, bad ones, to the move. I'm leaving my family, my support. And then there's the... "secret" of his dad's. You can figure it out, but let's just say that the #1 new rule of the house is that he is NEVER allowed to be alone with my daughter. Yeah, isn't that just a pleasant new household to move into. Plus, what if it's worse there? What if all my husband does is fight with his dad, or take out his frustration/anger with his dad on me and our daughter? He does have a temper problem that he barely keeps in check as it is.. throw in the stress of moving back in with his father, and I don't know that he'll be able to keep it under control. What if he gets denied SSI disability again? What if his friend doesn't have a part time job for him? What if the college nearby doesn't have on site child care?
*Sigh*
Too many what ifs... which is why it's nearly 6am and I still haven't been to bed.

Military spouses

When I saw this, I just had to save it and pass it on into my blog. I know how very difficult being a military wife can be, even though my husband is thankfully out now, from his medical problems, at least his body is whole if not totally functional. I thank heaven every day that he is back home now with me and our daughter, and pray for the families of the troops still over in Iraq. May they all come home safely.

Military Spouse Appreciation Day is Friday, May 9th, 2008

Military spouses … stand tall, stand proud! We salute you, you are truly our unsung heroes!

The Military Spouse

Author Unknown

There he stands in camouflage…yet he cannot hide from you.

You can pick him out in a crowd, and eye his stride among a formation.

There he goes, away from you again, off to do his part and be his best, leaving you in his wake - never behind, yet always longing for his return.

There you are, amidst boxes and paper and confusion, creating a home, designing a household, transforming a building into a loving nurturing, comfortable environment.

No strings, no such thing

No strings attached.
Sounds great in theory, right?
None of that messy emotional stuff, no meeting the insane family members and having to pretend you like them.
But, having tried it, it's lonely. And honestly, 99% of women out there, cannot do no strings attached.. even if we say we can, we're lying. Over time it builds up, and we want more from you. We want you to be romantic, we want you to call us, we want to go somewhere other than a motel or your bedroom (and no, sex in the park does not count). We want to feel like there is more to us than just sex. That you like more of me than just my physical self, my bedroom tricks. Sure, as a mistress, I do things (lots of them) in the bedroom (or living room, kitchen, hallway, etc) that your wife has not and never will do for you. That doesn't mean I wouldn't like dinner out at a decent restaurant some night. Or even, *gasp*, a present for Christmas or my birthday. Heck, even a card would do. Women just cannot completely separate emotion from sex. Yup, we can have a great time, and if we're drunk enough, hey, we might not even remember the wild things we did on the table.. but those feelings creep up on us every time, even when we lie and say we're fine, that's usually when we're the least fine.

Picture

Wanted to show what I looked like, the picture is a few months old, my hair is now short spiked and golden blonde (after a brief experiment with purple that didn't do so well). The blue in the corner is my baby girl in her favorite winter care bear outfit but I cropped her out for now.

New to Blogs

Well world, I'm new to blogging, but I have so much chaos going on in my life and in my head that I just needed a space to get it all out. I guess a little background information is in order. I just turned 30 this March. I'm married to a disabled Iraq veteran, we have a beautiful 1 year old daughter and we're hurridedly packing all our worldly possesions right now because we're being evicted from our low income housing apartment. We will be moving into my father-in-law's house, mostly his living room. We hope to combine our very meager income my husband gets from VA disability with his dad's to get a larger place. Currently I take care of my daughter (my husband is physically unable to), help my husband with his needs, and am trying to get ready to go back to college and get my RN degree. I'm also a natural submissive. I've been trying to find a Dom or Domme to help teach my husband about being a Top. He wants to learn, and has the natural personality for it, just lacks any experience in that area. Let's see... I'm also blonde, blue eyed, curvy, sometimes optimistic although lately that's been really rough, short (all of 5'3"), spunky, spontaneous, kinky, wild, love to try new things and meet new people and miss talking to adults during the day and not just my baby girl. My husband is very into his computer games. I have some that I enjoy but am not nearly as addicted as he is. I could probably just babble on forever, but I think that my ramble tonight is enough for now.